There is so much to learn and memorize in four short weeks. We have been given 5 new songs that we all have to learn for the Finale. I also have a trunk show called "The Legend of the Baby Dragons" that I have to memorize and perform. And then today we started getting more into the language of the time, and now I am working on memorizing all of those rules and grammar and such. It reminds me so much of when I was in France and learning to speak French. My accent is still shit. And, honestly, I need to learn all the dialects for improv purposes, but I'm going to just focus on mine for the moment.
Zach just called and had a movie date with me. We watched two episodes of Parks and Rec together. It was amazing. I've never had a guy do that with me before. And he wants to do it again Sunday night. I think he genuinely really likes me. He is pursuing me without smothering me or playing games with my head and my heart. We click so well it's uncanny, and being around him is like...it's kinda like being home. I'm not sure how else to describe it.
Sorry. I know I was going to strictly keep the pages of this journal dedicated just to fair happenings, but that small act of affection touched me so much that I couldn't not mention it.
I've been working on my cockney accent, and it is getting much stronger. I've also been studying the music and the language today and watching The Tudors for more historical context. I practiced my language skills by writing love letters in Henrician English. I think I did well I'm sure it could be better, but it's not bad. It almost feels like I'm having to learn a new language. There's conjugation rules and contractions and new vocabulary and sentence structure. It's a lot to try and keep straight but I am doing my best.
"Thou art like a vine, creeping into my being--blooming and covering and reinforcing my life with all that is true and beautiful and alive. By my troth, 'tis true. To lose thee would be to lose pieces of mine own self. I never wish to lose thee, nor do I think I could e'en if I tried. Thou couldst try to part, and thou mayst most successfully remove thyself physically from me, but thou hast left thy mark on mine heart that no amount of tears could wash away."
Jeez I'm sappy.
"I think our relationship is in a cocoon right now. I think it's changing and growing and maturing in the safety and warmth of our little world that we have created between us. And I firmly believe that our relationship will emerge more lovely and stronger than it might have been otherwise. You know? If nothing else, our skills in communication are being sharpened and enhanced because that is all that we have.
"And so, even thought our relationship will change, I think we will both be more lovely people who are more confident and stronger than 90% of couples out there," Jillian.
"It's tough not seeing you, especially when I can hear your voice. It's like my ears are happy but my eyes can't find you, my fingers are trying to trace you, I'm holding my breath waiting for your scent, and my mouth just gets dry. But that's the cocoon," Zach.
What a crazy month it has been since my last entry. So much to tell, I will try and condense as much as I can.
I have two weekends under my belt with several very successful improv shows and street character bits. The first opening weekend was terrifying but good. I learned how to pace myself and found my personal character plot line throughout the faire day. The second weekend was challenging but solid. I caught a cold the Friday before but powered through it and was able to perform both Saturday and Sunday. However, I did blow out my voice and have been unable to rehearse at full volume this week. I went to the doctor to make sure it wasn't something serious, but it is just a sinus infection and I should be all better in time for our performances this weekend.
I am absolutely unapologetically in love with Zach Williams. He drove all the way to Pennsylvania on Monday just so he could spend a week with me and it was the most romantic and rejuvenating week of my life thus far.
God I was so nervous on Monday when he came. I work up at 6am and couldn't fall back asleep and spent several hours just driving around the area so I wouldn't go crazy while I was waiting. And then as it got closer to the time he was supposed to get in, I changed outfits at least three times and paced the commons room for an hour while wiping the sweat from my palms. And driving to the hotel I had to deliberately watch my speed so I didn't get a ticket from driving too fast. When I finally got there, I almost couldn't get out of the car because I was so excited and nervous. But I finally did and sat on a bench outside the main lobby. And then when Zach finally walked up, I was shaking like a leaf and my knees had melted. I was certain I was going to fall over and make a complete idiot of myself, but he took me in his arms and held me so tightly that I had every confidence I could stand...
I'm going to marry Zach Williams.
Well, I've dropped Zach off at the airport. I've had such a wonderful time with him these past 6 days. Today marks 4 months of us being together. I'm also high on cold medicine. I caught some god-awful virus after working in 40 degree rainy weather this weekend. It was a load of horse shit, but I don't want to get into it because it will just make me angry...
I hope things between Zach and me won't change once I move back to Memphis. I'm hoping that we will become best of friends once we can spend more time together. I'm just worried maybe I will annoy him with my weird habits. Or maybe all our idiosyncrasies will bring us closer together. I'm really thinking it will be the latter and not the former.
Four more days and the fair will be over.
Zach has been sending me gifts every day this week. Monday he sent me a huge, beautiful bouquet of purple and white flowers. Yesterday I received a beautiful card from him. Today I got another card with a poem in it. Tomorrow I'll be receiving a tin filled with assorted popcorn, and on Friday he has another tin filled with assorted cookies set to be delivered.
He is the most wonderful boyfriend I could have ever asked for.